Recently, I received a copy of this book in the mail:

Frankly, I was a little worried that it would read as that same, tired old “working mother juggles her career and home life” type self-help book that we’ve all read and promptly forgotten. Luckily for me (and for you, should you choose to pick up a copy), it doesn’t.

This book centres primarily around author Claudia Trupp‘s career as an appellate attorney. The stories she tells of the clients whose cases she has appealed (convicted rapists, murderers and drug dealers) are both riveting and unsettling. Just when I think that the author’s work life and her home life couldn’t be any different, she pulls a rabbit out of her hat and manages to link the two together through broad issues such as faith, as well as smaller issues, such as a name shared by her child and the child of one of her clients.

Being a mother of the stay-at-home variety, my experience couldn’t differ any further from the author’s, but I thoroughly enjoyed the glimpse into her world. The fact that it reads more like a novel than a “parenting book” was a big help, too!

Along with the book, I also received a copy of the 10 lessons Ms Trupp would like to teach her children. Considering that I haven’t managed to master them all yet myself, I thought I would share them here as well, if for no other reason than so I can read them over again myself from time to time.

TEN LESSONS I HOPE TO TEACH MY THREE DAUGHTERS BEFORE THEY STOP LISTENING TO ME ALTOGETHER
By Claudia Trupp

1.) FIND IT!
Do whatever it takes to find what will fill your life with meaning and joy. There is nothing more important, and no one else, not even I, can do this for you. I can tell you that without meaningful commitments to others you will spend way too much time focusing on yourself. Even with a life packed full of commitments you will still find time to contemplate the irrelevant such as how you could have passed up desserts for an entire week and still managed to gain 1.4 pounds.

2.) DO IT!
Once you have committed to something, do it. Arrive on time, every time, with your pencils sharpened, ready to rock. Don’t shirk, don’t make excuses, and don’t miss deadlines. You’ll be surprised how much this impresses people.

3.) LEARN IT!
Don’t let your day-to-day responsibilities squelch your natural curiosity. Never stop asking questions and seeking answers. Read the footnotes, deepen your knowledge, and develop your own intuition.

4.) OWN IT!
Don’t be afraid to step up and take a leadership role. You don’t have to be the CEO of the company, but if you frequently find yourself standing in center field praying that the ball doesn’t come your way, it’s probably time to find a different sport.

5.) CHANGE IT!
Just because something has always been done in one particular way doesn’t mean that’s the only or best way to do it. If it did, we’d still be sleeping in caves and watching Betamax. Experiment with the recipe, innovate, you can always revert to the old way if the new one proves disastrous. I know a lot of family dinners have been ruined by this approach, but every once in a while it results in something spectacular.

6.) SAVOR IT!
It is all too easy to wish your life away in three-day blocks, to promise yourself that you will be the happiest, most relaxed person after you hand in that term paper, land that big client, finish the kitchen renovation or earn the next promotion. But it is more important to enjoy the gift of today – don’t squander it worrying about next week’s math quiz.

7.) APPRECIATE IT!
In our house, you don’t get a glass of water without a “please” and a “thank you.” I hope that you each carry this habit with you because good manners never go out of fashion. Be generous when expressing your gratitude and appreciation of others’ efforts: when your child helps to clear the table, your spouse makes the coffee, or a colleague kills at a presentation don’t stand mutely by—praise, praise, praise!

8.) TEMPER IT!
The quality of everything from steel to chocolate changes based on the heat applied. You have to figure out at what temperature you thrive, whether pressure sharpens your mind or zaps your strength, how to balance your own internal elements. Set the thermostat of your life at the temperature that suits you best and let those around you dress in layers.

9.) HATE IT!
As the song goes, mama told you there’d be days like these. You have seen mama have enough of them to know it’s true. Part of being passionately engaged in your life is experiencing really bad days, the ones where you feel like punching the walls, weeping with despair, cursing the heavens. I promise that although it hurts, you will learn more from your bad days and your mistakes than from all your successes. Go to sleep, it will be better in the morning.

10.) LEAVE IT!
No matter how bad my day, I take solace in knowing that by dinner time I will be surrounded by the people I love. A decent meal, some laughter, the sound of a new piano piece being mastered – all help to erase the troubles of even the worst day. And remember to call your mother. I’ll be standing by with sage advice that you should feel entirely free to ignore.

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