Alternate title: Why doesn’t Jancee Dunn live in my town so I can crazily stalk her become her new best friend?

Those who know me know that I love to laugh (often loudly and at inappropriate times.) So when I received this book in the mail a couple of weeks ago, I hoped it would deliver, at the very least, a smile or two. I needn’t have worried. It did. I was hooked from the first page. It has definitely earned a spot on my “read again” shelf.

Tip: If you’re, say, in the waiting room at your gyno’s office or on a crowded bus all alone, you might not want to read this book. You are pretty much guaranteed to make weird laughter-squelching noises and goofy trying-not-to-smile-but-failing constipation faces. Just trust me on this one.

This book is a collection of absorbing (in a “this could so totally be my crazy family!” kind of a way), laugh-out-loud funny essays about the author and her tight-knit family. Oh, I kid you not. I laughed. Several times. Real, “oh, crap, I’d better not wake the kids!” laughter. This book is chock-full of witty banter and sarcasm. It’s my kind of book.

Actually, if I wasn’t already married, I’d probably try to work my way into Jancee Dunn’s family somehow. (In a totally not-creepy, please-don’t-arrest-me-for-stalking way.) Because if her family and my family got together, we would all have the flattest, most defined abs ever. You know. From all the laughing.

So, in summary, read this book. Who doesn’t need a little jocularity injected into their reading material every now and then? Happy giggling reading!

Filed under: Uncategorized by WWS (Lynn) - 1 Comment →

Ugh. Owww. Blah.

I’m falling apart over here, guys. I’m pretty sure I’m an 85 year old trapped in a 30-something body. The heartburn! No good deed goes unpunished – I had a green salad (with grilled chicken) for supper and I’ve been in agony ever since. I’ve been popping Tums like it’s candy. Two more and then I’m heading to bed.

I initially wanted to come on here to do a book review (only one more ever, I promise! Plus, this one was really funny – honest!) but I caaaaan’t. Someone took a blowtorch to my sternum and then had an elephant sit on it in a vain attempt to extinguish the flames. Plus, my ovaries are throwing knives at each other because since I don’t actually ever ovulate or anything, it’s getting awfully crowded in there. It’s that freaking mob mentality. Once they start rioting, it’s dang near impossible to get them to stop. They’re raping, pillaging and looting with a furious vengeance right now. I’d kind of like to reach up there and yank the whole works out, frankly. I have a feeling that it would be quite cathartic to stomp all over my stupid, traiterous reproductive system.

Between the heartburn, the rioting ovaries, the extra weight around the middle and the ever-aching lower back, I’d kind of just like to chop off my torso altogether. With all the advances in science these days, there must be a way to just glue my arms and legs right to my head. They’re the only parts worth keeping anyway.

Although, come to think of it, I don’t know if my arms are worth keeping either… Last weekend, I managed to singe my shoulders to within an inch of their lives. Then, once they were good and sore, I went for an hour long power walk with my friend and by the time we were finished, the salt from my post-walk womanly glowing sheen made me so itchy that I was twitching uncontrollably and was about thisclose to ripping my arms off and throwing them far, far away. The itching pain is gone now but my shoulders are peeling like there’s no tomorrow. Lily actually stroked my shoulders at bedtime tonight, saying, “I want to make the skin that’s falling off your body feel better.” Take some time to fix that image in your head. It’s okay. I’ll wait.

So, officially the only body parts I’m willing to keep at this point are my head and legs. I’m sure I’ll be able to learn to type with my toes…

Filed under: Just My Luck, Keepin' it Real, Me, Pity Party by WWS (Lynn) - 1 Comment →

Recently, I received a copy of this book in the mail:

Frankly, I was a little worried that it would read as that same, tired old “working mother juggles her career and home life” type self-help book that we’ve all read and promptly forgotten. Luckily for me (and for you, should you choose to pick up a copy), it doesn’t.

This book centres primarily around author Claudia Trupp‘s career as an appellate attorney. The stories she tells of the clients whose cases she has appealed (convicted rapists, murderers and drug dealers) are both riveting and unsettling. Just when I think that the author’s work life and her home life couldn’t be any different, she pulls a rabbit out of her hat and manages to link the two together through broad issues such as faith, as well as smaller issues, such as a name shared by her child and the child of one of her clients.

Being a mother of the stay-at-home variety, my experience couldn’t differ any further from the author’s, but I thoroughly enjoyed the glimpse into her world. The fact that it reads more like a novel than a “parenting book” was a big help, too!

Along with the book, I also received a copy of the 10 lessons Ms Trupp would like to teach her children. Considering that I haven’t managed to master them all yet myself, I thought I would share them here as well, if for no other reason than so I can read them over again myself from time to time.

TEN LESSONS I HOPE TO TEACH MY THREE DAUGHTERS BEFORE THEY STOP LISTENING TO ME ALTOGETHER
By Claudia Trupp

1.) FIND IT!
Do whatever it takes to find what will fill your life with meaning and joy. There is nothing more important, and no one else, not even I, can do this for you. I can tell you that without meaningful commitments to others you will spend way too much time focusing on yourself. Even with a life packed full of commitments you will still find time to contemplate the irrelevant such as how you could have passed up desserts for an entire week and still managed to gain 1.4 pounds.

2.) DO IT!
Once you have committed to something, do it. Arrive on time, every time, with your pencils sharpened, ready to rock. Don’t shirk, don’t make excuses, and don’t miss deadlines. You’ll be surprised how much this impresses people.

3.) LEARN IT!
Don’t let your day-to-day responsibilities squelch your natural curiosity. Never stop asking questions and seeking answers. Read the footnotes, deepen your knowledge, and develop your own intuition.

4.) OWN IT!
Don’t be afraid to step up and take a leadership role. You don’t have to be the CEO of the company, but if you frequently find yourself standing in center field praying that the ball doesn’t come your way, it’s probably time to find a different sport.

5.) CHANGE IT!
Just because something has always been done in one particular way doesn’t mean that’s the only or best way to do it. If it did, we’d still be sleeping in caves and watching Betamax. Experiment with the recipe, innovate, you can always revert to the old way if the new one proves disastrous. I know a lot of family dinners have been ruined by this approach, but every once in a while it results in something spectacular.

6.) SAVOR IT!
It is all too easy to wish your life away in three-day blocks, to promise yourself that you will be the happiest, most relaxed person after you hand in that term paper, land that big client, finish the kitchen renovation or earn the next promotion. But it is more important to enjoy the gift of today – don’t squander it worrying about next week’s math quiz.

7.) APPRECIATE IT!
In our house, you don’t get a glass of water without a “please” and a “thank you.” I hope that you each carry this habit with you because good manners never go out of fashion. Be generous when expressing your gratitude and appreciation of others’ efforts: when your child helps to clear the table, your spouse makes the coffee, or a colleague kills at a presentation don’t stand mutely by—praise, praise, praise!

8.) TEMPER IT!
The quality of everything from steel to chocolate changes based on the heat applied. You have to figure out at what temperature you thrive, whether pressure sharpens your mind or zaps your strength, how to balance your own internal elements. Set the thermostat of your life at the temperature that suits you best and let those around you dress in layers.

9.) HATE IT!
As the song goes, mama told you there’d be days like these. You have seen mama have enough of them to know it’s true. Part of being passionately engaged in your life is experiencing really bad days, the ones where you feel like punching the walls, weeping with despair, cursing the heavens. I promise that although it hurts, you will learn more from your bad days and your mistakes than from all your successes. Go to sleep, it will be better in the morning.

10.) LEAVE IT!
No matter how bad my day, I take solace in knowing that by dinner time I will be surrounded by the people I love. A decent meal, some laughter, the sound of a new piano piece being mastered – all help to erase the troubles of even the worst day. And remember to call your mother. I’ll be standing by with sage advice that you should feel entirely free to ignore.

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When I got the first email in my inbox asking me if I would review a book and post it on my blog, I was thrilled. A free book? Sign me up!

When, two weeks later, I received another email in my inbox, asking me to review another book, I began to fret a little. I feared that I was misleading these publicists: I have exactly zero experience in the book-reviewing business. The last time I did a book review was in Grade 9 and my convoluted explanation of a V.C. Andrews book was so confusing that I was told to re-do it and present it again the following week. Clearly, these people are barking up the wrong blog…

When I told my mom about my misgivings, “I feel guilty for doing it, but I just couldn’t pass up the free books!” she cut right to the chase and helped me put things into proper perspective.

So, are they paying you to do these book reviews?

And they get a free review!

So, yes. I officially have two *cough* free *cough* book reviews in the works. Hopefully they end up making more sense than my jacked-up explanation of My Sweet Audrina (which, in my defense, is a pretty jacked-up book, even for V.C. Andrews.)

Filed under: Keepin' it Real, Me, Random by WWS (Lynn) - 1 Comment →

This past weekend, I was lucky enough meet up with the lovely ladies involved in this fabulous road trip.

Katie, Catherine and Tanis took a break from the road on Saturday morning to meet up with Natasha, Habanerogal and myself (and our gaggle of children) at a park on the complete opposite side of town from where I live. As luck would have it, Saturday was my birthday, so Lucky had no choice but to drive me out there with minimal complaints.

While my ideal meetup involves babysitters for the kids and alcohol for the adults, the whole “sober in the daylight” thing is kind of a little bit okay, too. While the husbands entertained the children kids played at the park, the six of us ladies (and one super cute little redneck by the name of Jumby – seriously, that kid stole my heart and won’t give it back) got to know each other.

Two hours passed in the blink of an eye and before we knew it, we were all heading in different directions.

Before Saturday, I’d never met a real, live blogger before. I was a little bit worried that I’d turn into George from Seinfeld and ruin my illusion of the internet “my worlds are colliding!” but I couldn’t ask for a nicer group of girls to pop my “blogger meetup” cherry.

Thanks for the fun and hopefully we can get together and do it again sometime!

Filed under: Happy Happy, Keepin' it Real, Random by WWS (Lynn) - 4 Comments →

The other night, I had a small bowl of strawberries, bananas and blueberries for a snack. When I was finished, I had heartburn and a stomach ache. I had to take Tums before going to bed. Chocolate never does that to me. Clearly, chocolate is better for my body.

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Last night, frustrated with PCOS and weight gain, I ate some chips at a Canada Day barbeque. Salty snacks are not my indulgence of choice. I just did it because they were there, and because it doesn’t seem to matter what I eat. This morning after a shower, I weighed myself. I am down 3 pounds. My conclusion? Eating chips = weight loss.

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If fruit gives me heartburn and chips make me lose weight, then I’m obviously doing something wrong in this whole “get healthy” endeavour. Maybe I’ll start my own chips-n-chocolate diet. Food for thought!

Filed under: Me, PCOS, Ponderings, Random by WWS (Lynn) - 3 Comments →