So I realized tonight that I haven’t been to the mailbox all week. I’m blaming it all on the giant dump of snow. I didn’t think I’d be able to make it there and back without pulling a Little House on the Prairie and tying a rope to each tree I passed (you know, so I’d have something to lead me back through the white-blanketed wasteland to my beloved homestead without getting lost in the drifts), so I just didn’t bother with it at all.  But, when hubby came down the stairs this evening (conveniently dressed in shorts and a t-shirt – his “home for the night” attire) to remind me that we had a dental reimbursement cheque coming (woo! free money!) (well, sort of…), I decided to make the 30 second trek to the end of the street. 

Now before you get all she’s a hero, she went to the mailbox and lived to tell the tale on me, let me just say that the weather has actually improved significantly over the past two days. The sunshine, combined with the many snowplows out on the roads, has cleared up the streets and sidewalks significantly. So, while I’d love for everyone to be proud of my *cough* bravery, I’m no hero. I just wanted my cheque. 

**Now, before I go any further, let me just take a moment to brag about the awesome deal I got at Walmart. I managed to score myself a big, baggy pair of men’s black plaid flannel “leisure pants” for less than $10. I’m sure you’re jealous. I would be if I were you.**

So, as I was zipping my black suede nearly-knee-high boots up over the above mentioned flannel pants (because I wouldn’t want to drag such a treasure through the snow and risk getting them wet) I became aware that I wasn’t putting forth the most flattering image of myself. The pajama bottoms were puffing up over the top of the boots, making me look like a pirate with a penchant for plaid.  I wouldn’t have been surprised at all if I were ambushed by the people at What Not to Wear for daring to step foot in public wearing such a warm, comfy abomination. Nonetheless, I zipped up my wool dress coat and went on my merry way. 

As I was walking down the driveway, I thought to myself, “I sure hope none of the neighbors see me dressed like this. How will I be able to explain it?” I considered going back home and changing into a pair of jeans. Ultimately, the threat of being caught dressed like a gender-confused Scottish pirate-slash-career woman wasn’t enough to deter me and I continued on to the mailbox, looking for all the world like I was swashbuckling myself to a business meeting.

This is the part where, if my life were a cheesy 80s sitcom, I would be sneaking down the street, only to come upon my entire neighborhood having a block party in the wintry darkness. Their patio lanterns would shine simultaneously upon me and everyone would laugh as I desperately wished that the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

Fortunately, my life is of the regular, non-cheesy-80s-sitcom variety.

I made it to the mailbox without being noticed, got my precious cheque (along with some bills – gah! – and a Chirp magazine for the boy), and swashbuckled my booty back home. The End.

ps – I have no plans of wearing my super baggy, black plaid men’s flannel leisure pants out in public ever again. Ever. Amen. (But dang are they ever comfy. And warm. And plaid.)

Filed under: Confessions, Me by WWS (Lynn) - 3 Comments →

I am now seeing ads for Losing Belly Fat and Becoming More Fit. (Not that I need anything like that.) (ahem.)

Now I’m just waiting for McDreamy. MCDREAMY!!

McDreamy….

Filed under: Random by WWS (Lynn) - 1 Comment →

Occasionally, I just have to let my fingers wander over the keyboard. Get rid of all the random crap rolling around in my brain. The latest in a long line of weird stuff that goes through my head is this:

What the heck do I have to write to get Google to put up ads other than “Meet Gay Men” on my sidebar? (I’m sure this isn’t helping, by the way.) I have nothing against gay men, but I’m not interested in starting “a relationship” with one. Well, maybe if he was a gay hairdresser. Or even a gay jogger. It’s always nice to have someone new to talk to. Something tells me that the people who read (or will read – behold the power of positive thinking. If you write it, they will read!) this blog aren’t in need of a new homosexual relationship either. Some ads I’d like to see? ”Meet Burly Snowplow Drivers” or “Buy Gas Powered Shovels”. Or even “Win a Free Trip Somewhere Warm”. Maybe if I type a bunch of random phrases in, it might help to hone the sellout on the sidebar. Here you go, Google. Take your pick!

Shiny Hair

Slim Down

McDreamy

Spa Treatments

Vacations

McDreamy

*drool*

ahem

Parenting Advice

McDreamy

(what?)

Filed under: Random by WWS (Lynn) - 1 Comment →

Over the last couple of days, it has dumped a foot of snow. Due to a currently crazy workload, the head shoveller has been at work more-or-less the entire time. This left the shovelling duties up to me. I was not pleased. Whoever said that hard work is good for the soul has obviously never spent an hour shovelling the driveway only to have it look like this a few minutes later:

Yeah, yeah. I’m a wuss. And proud of it. You wanna make something of it? I got sweaty. And red-faced. Plus, my shoulder hurts. And I had to wrangle two kids while I was at it and then turn around and make dinner. It was like exercise. Wait. What’s that? Oh, man. It might actually have been good for me what with the whole calorie-burning aspect? Crap. Don’t tell my husband. He might actually expect me to shovel regularly or something. The horror!

(Times like these make me exceedingly glad that tax season doesn’t fall in January.)

Filed under: Pity Party by WWS (Lynn) - 2 Comments →

My husband and I are in the process of uploading all of our home videos to the computer and burning them to DVDs. As I was watching some of my nearly 6 year old son’s baby footage, three things became glaringly obvious to me.

1. We are so not on the ball here! We have an 11.4 litre (12 quart) Sterilite container full of videos we’ve taken over the past 6 years (since we got the video camera) and have we burned any of them to DVD yet? (I’ll let you answer that one).
2. I had the most obnoxious habit in the world of ending each baby clip by cooing, “Say bye! Byyyyye!! Bye-bye!” (I’m pretty sure I ended up with a mouthful of cavities after that first year.) Now, I can maybe see how such a thing could be classified as “doting-mommy-proudly-interacting-with-baby” material if I had done it once or twice. But every damn time? That, my friends, rapidly escalates to “does-that-stupid-woman-really-think-her-infant-is-going-to-say-bye-bye?” or, more likely, ”oh-my-freaking-hell-stop-saying-that-you-irritating-woman” status. I have big plans to edit out all the evidence. (He’s a baby, you dummy! Not to mention the fact that your mouth is right next to the microphone. Gah!)
3. This buring desire I have for a third child is just not going away. In fact, it’s getting worse. Case in point: my husband called me to the computer so he could show me what to do when the current video finished uploading and, even though I had to pee like I hadn’t gone in two days, I found myself riveted to the screen, watching my stunningly gorgeous firstborn child cooing angelically into the camera. Apparently, six months is such an amazing age that even the screaming shriek of nature can’t tear me away from it. Plus, everywhere I turn? Babies. Friends, strangers, even hysterically funny internet buddies are turning up pregnant everywhere I look. Tell me, is it a sign?

Actually, I think I’ll revisit this issue when the above-mentioned angelic, wonder-baby wakes up tomorrow morning at the butt-crack of dawn and starts bitching about how his life is completely ruined due to the fact that There! Are! No! Cheese! Strings! In! The! Fridge!

Filed under: Confessions, Me, Random by WWS (Lynn) - No Comments →

As of right now, it looks like this outside:

So, when our friends emailed us to let us know that they weren’t going to make it over tonight, I wasn’t surprised. I know I don’t want to be out in that crap.

After the initial “oh, bummer” thoughts, my first thought was this: “Well, it’s a good thing I haven’t cleaned the bathroom yet!” Because, you know, that would have been five minutes of my life that I’d never get back.

Filed under: Just My Luck, Me, Random by WWS (Lynn) - 1 Comment →

I’ve been wracking my brain, thinking about what I want to write about for this first post. I’ve come to the conclusion that an easier question to ask would be, what don’t I want to write about.  I love the idea of being able to dump my brain out on the internet’s virtual table and show everyone what’s inside. Not unlike when Ally Sheedy dumped out her purse on the couch during detention in The Breakfast Club except less misfitish. (Hopefully).

In a nutshell, I plan to write about whatever happens to be in my head at the time. Some of it will make sense. Most of it won’t. But I have high hopes! I hope to see you around!

Filed under: Uncategorized by WWS (Lynn) - 6 Comments →